Hopes and Dreams
by super em
Summary: McGee pays Tony a visit after a tough case. He's met with an unexpected revelation. TonyMcGee twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

**Hopes and Dreams**

Written for Mia (headslapdiva) for the NFA Secret Santa Exchange. Two-shot. This is my first attempt at writing slash, so reviews are appreciated :)

Cat: slash  
Cat2: angst, romance  
Rating: K+  
Characters: Tony, McGee, Abby, Gibbs, Ziva, Ducky  
Pairings: McGee/Tony.  
Warnings: case related, implied violence and child abuse  
Prompt: An adorable slightly drunken confession from DiNozzo to McGee after a rough case. Kissing/cuddling can follow.

* * *

**Part One**

It was the worst kind of case. A seven year old girl found locked in a cupboard, dead from a combination of untreated internal injuries and starvation. Things took a turn for the worse when Ducky found that she'd been molested for at least a few years, her x-rays indicating she'd grown up in a very violent household. The atmosphere in the squad room was somber at best; Gibbs barely spoke except to bark out gruff orders. Ziva took to pulling out a large, concealed knife and stared at the blade, counting in her head the different ways she would castrate the perpetrator, the little girl's father, given the chance. McGee immersed himself in his work, reverting back to his probie ways of giving lengthy and detailed explanations anytime he was asked a computer related question. And Tony – Tony closed up, his eyes took on a hardened look and his jaw became more set. He went hours without speaking, not a single movie reference or joke. To McGee it seemed that he wasn't even listening to the rest of the team, too caught up in trying to find a lead – at least until Ziva tried to engage him in a conversation and he snapped at her loud enough to make even Gibbs stare.

It was three days before they got a substantial lead. The little girl's father, Joe Gerty, worked in vehicle maintenance at the Navy Base in Quantico. He didn't report to work for the entire week before his daughter's body was found. The neighbours all thought she was staying with her mother in Washington and it wasn't until the next door neighbour knocked on the open door to see why the hungry cat was yowling that the body was found. By the time NCIS became involved, Gerty had been in the wind for eight days.

In her finest hour, Abby sifted through two years worth of credit card bills and receipts, finding one for the Moonshine Motor Inn on the outskirts of DC. Gerty had stayed there eighteen months ago while on leave. It was a long shot, but out of desperation she made a call to the inn. A man fitting their description had checked in one week ago. He'd paid cash but had signed the bill for a pay-per-view porn movie. The receptionist faxed across the document and Abby deciphered the signature – 'J Gerty'.

McGee and Ziva manned the fire escapes while Gibbs and Tony took the front door. Guns drawn, they burst into room 139 to find Gerty seated on the bed, watching as parents collected their children from the primary school across the road. Back at NCIS, he was booked and charged in less than an hour.

"Go home," Gibb ordered as he returned from interrogation, looking immensely weary and drawn. "That's an order."

McGee and Ziva got up quickly, glad to be free after pulling an all-nighter. As he walked with Ziva to the elevator, McGee looked back to see what had captured Gibbs' attention. Tony was still at his desk, moving slowly and looking pale. Gibbs walked up to him, looking concerned but Tony brushed him off, grabbing his bag and leaving. McGee held the elevator and Tony stepped in without a word.

"Ar- Are you okay?"

Tony's head turned until his eyes met McGee's.

"Yeah."

His tone clearly indicated the conversation was over. As soon as the elevator reached the parking garage, Tony was out, walking swiftly to his Mustang and roaring out into the night.

"Timmy!"

McGee heard jingling and the thumping of platform boots as Abby ran up to stand beside him. They watched Tony's car zoom away.

"I heard you caught him. How's Tony?"

McGee shrugged. "He looked… subdued I guess."

Abby nodded, biting down on her bottom lip. "Damn it. Son of a bitch."

McGee's head shot up, unsure if she was talking about him, Tony or Joe Gerty. "Wha-?"

"You ready to go?" Abby's hearse was in the shop (yet again), so McGee was tasked with being her personal chauffeur. McGee nodded. "Have you noticed how Tony always gets all funny when we have a case involving children? Child assault, anyway?" Abby asked once they were on the road.

McGee nodded, although he didn't know if 'funny' was the word he would've used. Distraught, distracted, distant maybe.

"He's never told me, but I think it brings back memories from his childhood. I don't think growing up was a lot of fun for Tony." Abby said quietly.

"You want to go check on him?" McGee asked. Tony's apartment wasn't too far away from their current location.

Abby shook her head. "Nah, he won't be there."

McGee stared at her, taking his eyes off the road for a moment as he wondered how she knew Tony so well. His relationship with Abby was nothing more than close friendship; they'd both learnt, decided and agreed upon that years ago. It wasn't the thought of Tony dating Abby that generated the biting feel of jealousy deep within him. It was more the thought of Abby dating Tony. If that made any sense.

"Relax," Abby laughed, her finger prodding McGee's face back to the road. "I'm not preying on your territory. Tony's like my oldest friend at NCIS, he joined a year or so after I did. I think I know him pretty well by now."

The ball of jealousy dispersed, but it was replaced by a new feeling – confusion. "Wait – what do you mean, 'preying on my territory'. What territory?"

She laughed again. "You've got it bad, Timmy-boy. I can tell, I've seen the way you look at him when you think no-one's watching." After pausing to admire McGee's deer-in-the-headlights expression, she continued, "I say go for it. I'm happy for you. Just imagining it – my two best friends… maybe you'd let me come watch?"

McGee went bright red and fought to keep the car traveling in the right lane. "Abs! Just stop, please. Tony's straight anyway, there's no point even talking about it."

Abby gave him a smug little smile. "You never know McGee. How many people know you're bi? Tony brags about his female conquests, but you don't exactly go around telling people about your sexcapades with men."

McGee cleared his throat. "So you want to get some dinner or will I just drop you home?"

"Subtle subject change there McGee. I'm hungry. Oh, and we could go see the new zombie movie!"

Tired as he was, nights out with Abby were always fun and didn't occur often enough for McGee's liking. They ate out at a little Thai restaurant, choosing the items on the menu with the funniest names. The zombie movie was truly terrible, as is usually the case with B horror movies, but they had a great time laughing at the acting, music, special effects, storyline and the reactions of everyone else in the cinema.

It was close to midnight when they emerged, still a little giddy from all the laughing. "Oh, Timmy can we stop at Tony's now? I just want to make sure my boy's okay."

McGee nodded, starting the engine. He waited in the car outside Tony's building. In the three years they'd worked together, he'd never seen the inside of Tony's home, while Tony was happily intimate with his place, dropping by sometimes after cases and fiddling with McGee's typewriter. It was pretty obvious Tony liked his privacy, so McGee wasn't too keen on the thought of barging into Tony's apartment in the middle of the night unexpected.

Abby of course had a key, so she bounded out of the car with a promise to return within a quarter of an hour. Twenty minutes later she walked back, smile faded considerably.

"He doesn't know how to look after himself," she said softly, almost to herself as she sat back in the car.

"Is Tony okay?" McGee questioned, concerned.

She raised one shoulder. "I don't know. I put him to bed, hopefully he'll stay there. Tony's not… with Tony, what you see isn't really what you get, you know?"

The conversation lingered in McGee's mind as he dropped Abby off and turned the car to drive back to his place. The cold, empty feeling was back in his stomach and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he could see for himself that Tony was okay. He parked outside the building and walked slowly towards it, nerves adding to the knot of worry inside of him. He didn't know what to expect from Tony, knocking on his door at 1am and probably waking the man up.

Pushing all mental images of Tony socking him right in the face to the back of his mind, McGee knocked on the door and waited for a reply. He was about to knock again when the door swung open. Tony was wearing long tracksuit pants and no shirt. His hair was tousled although he didn't look like he'd been asleep.

"McGee," Tony stated, looking surprised but not angry. "Nice of you to visit." He pushed the door open further, wandering back into the apartment.

"I was just… in the neighbourhood," McGee replied, wincing at the lameness of his sentence. Tony didn't seem to notice, sitting down on the couch with his knees drawn up to his chest. In his hand he nursed an almost-full glass of scotch, the bottle sitting on the coffee table.

"Want a drink?" Tony waved his hand emphatically and McGee realized that Tony was tipsy, if not slightly drunk.

"How many of those have you had?"

Tony frowned. "Why? Abby send you to check up on me?" His words were slurred and McGee upgraded his condition from 'slightly drunk' to 'definitely intoxicated'.

"No." McGee pried the glass from Tony's hand before he spilt it, setting it down on the coffee table. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were acting a little strangely this afternoon."

Tony's face darkened. He took another sip of scotch and McGee could almost see him pushing the unpleasant thought to the back of his mind. Tony laughed. "Timmy, take this away."

McGee swiftly grabbed the proffered, sloshing drink.

"I'm just like my father, alone and drunk. I don't want to be alone. McGee, don't make me be alone."

McGee wasn't sure how to reply, but he didn't need to. Tony seemed happy to keep talking.

"Come sit with me Timmy. I'm lonely." Tony patted the couch beside him for emphasis. When McGee complied he was rewarded with a brilliant, lady-killing smile.

"I like you McGee."

"… I like you too."

"No, I'm serious," Tony slurred, giving McGee the puppy-dog look. "I really like you. You're pretty... and smart... and funny... and pretty... and smart..."

"Thanks, Tony," McGee said, wondering if he should upgrade Tony to 'completely legless'. Before he thought further, Tony wrapped an arm around McGee's shoulders.

"I like you McGee," he hissed in McGee's ear.

McGee smiled, patting him awkwardly on the back. "I like you, Tony."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it."

"Good." Tony nestled his head into McGee's neck, closing his eyes.

"Umm…" McGee stood up, supporting Tony so he wouldn't slip. "C'mon Tony, I think it's time for bed." He grabbed Tony by both wrists and pulled him to his feet, then practically dragged the man into the bedroom. The covers on the bed were drawn back, presumably from when Abby had put him to bed, so McGee pushed Tony down until he was lying flat on it.

"Goodnight Tony," McGee said with a grin.

"Timmy," Tony said absently, his eyelids closed.

It was almost two o'clock in the morning as McGee checked the house to make sure appropriate windows and doors were locked. As he did so, he pondered how much of what Tony had told him was the alcohol talking, and how much reflected his true feelings. McGee knew better than to get his hopes up; he'd never seen Tony in such a state, but at the same time he felt a little lighter in anticipation.

Too wiped to drive home and since the team wasn't on call over the weekend, McGee decided to crash on Tony's surprisingly comfortable couch.

The next morning McGee was woken early by the sunlight pouring through the windows. He felt rested despite the few hours of sleep he'd gotten so he pulled himself to his feet and set about finding some breakfast in Tony's kitchen. He wasn't sure what to expect from Tony upon finding McGee in his house and he doubted whether he would remember their conversations from the previous night at all. McGee's brain told him to dismiss the thought altogether, but his heart held on to the hope that Tony would remember. At least then he'd know either way whether Tony really was interested in him or not. If he wasn't, McGee would be disappointed to say the least, but maybe then he could move on.

Ten minutes after McGee awoke, Tony stumbled into the kitchen, wincing at the bright light.

"Headache?" McGee asked, leaning on the kitchen bench.

"DiNozzos don't get hangovers McGee," Tony informed him, not seeming at all surprised to see McGee standing there. He shook his head and winced again at the motion. McGee held out the bottle of aspirin he'd found above the sink and Tony took it with a grumble.

"About last night…" McGee began, not wanting to prolong the conversation. He'd just smile, agree that no, it never happened and leave.

"Yeah," Tony said. He rubbed the back of his head, looking down at the floor. "Sorry about all that."

McGee swallowed. He'd been expecting that. But Tony looked… almost embarrassed.

"Umm… I know I was kind of drunk, but I meant what I said Tim."

McGee looked up from his feet. Definitely hadn't been expecting that.

"Hopefully what I remember really did happen and I didn't just dream it, because that would suck," Tony continued. "But I do like you. As more than a friend."

McGee's eyes widened. "I meant it too Tony. I really like you."

A smile grew on Tony's face as his eyes met Tim's. "About the rest of the stuff, the reason why I was drinking – well I don't really want to talk about it. Not now at least. But… thanks for coming over."

McGee reached out, grabbing Tony's hand and squeezing it. This was a side of Tony he rarely saw. Sensing the taller man stiffen his stance, McGee took a risk and wrapped his arms around Tony in a hug. He felt Tony relax as he returned the embrace, then their lips met in a chaste kiss that quickly became a passionate process of exploration as they discovered each others mouths and tastes. They drew back, gasping for breath.

"Wow, Tim. Didn't know you had that in you!" Tony grinned. "I never realized – I mean I hoped, but I never believed you were actually bi."

"I thought the same about you, you're the one with the ladies-man reputation." McGee said, leaning back on the bench.

"Damn. We should have done this ages ago. I should listen to Abby more often," Tony added, speaking mostly to himself.

"Wait – you talked to Abby about us? I mean, about you and me?"

"Yeah… you know how hard it is to keep a secret with her." Tony said, running a hand through his rakish hair. "Hold on, you talked to her as well?"

McGee nodded. They stared at each other for a moment before simultaneously bursting into laughter.

"Oh, she's good."

McGee bobbed his head in agreement. "I guess we have her to thank then. Kind of."

Tony grabbed McGee by both shoulders, pulling him back into his arms. "Later. I think we've got enough to keep us busy right here."

"Definitely." McGee hissed as he tugged Tony's head down to meet his once more.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

"I knew it!!!" Abby squealed, pigtails bobbing furiously as she lunged at Tony. "I told you! I told you Timmy was into you."

Tony picked himself up off the floor of Abby's lab, pulling Abby up with him. "I know you told me, I just never believed you." His face grew a little more somber but he smiled at his good friend. "I really don't want to screw this up Abs."

"Screw what up?" It was Gibbs. The smile instantly vanished from Tony's face as he struggled to think of a good excuse for being in Abby's lab. Something a little more convincing than 'I was bragging to Abby about my hot new boyfriend. Who happens to be Timothy McGee.'

He drew a blank. Gibbs knew it and his lips twitched menacingly. "Report's not going to write itself DiNozzo."

Tony nodded. That was his other reason for visiting Abby, not only to tell her his secret. He was delaying the inevitable, avoiding writing the report for the case that was still haunting his mind. Gibbs was staring at him and Tony almost got the feeling that his boss understood his train of thought. Some memories were best left untouched, but the last case had shaken up something unpleasant in his mind and he couldn't make it go away.

"On it boss." Tony gave a goodbye-glance to Abby, trudging back to the bullpen.

It was Ziva's turn to get lunch and McGee was alone, typing frenziedly on his computer when Tony returned. He grabbed a random file from his desk and stood in front of McGee's desk so it at least looked like they were working.

"How's it going?"

McGee smiled up at Tony. "Good. You talk to Abby?"

Tony nodded. "She crash tackled me. I'm fairly sure she was pleased."

McGee chuckled, his fingers still flying across the keyboard.

"You gotta teach me to do that sometime," Tony said, craning his head over so he was reading the words on McGee's screen upside-down, sentences rapidly filling the page.

"Touch type? Comes with practice."

Tony scowled, snagging a pencil from McGee's desk and tucking it behind his ear. "Practice? I do enough typing just writing these reports every other week. Speaking of reports… I probably should make a start."

McGee gave him a sympathetic look. "Unfortunately technology hasn't evolved so much that reports will write themselves. Maybe one day…"

"You know, Gibbs made the same joke. And it wasn't funny either time." He pouted at McGee, returning to his own desk. "This sucks."

"Yeah." McGee glanced around, taking advantage of the empty office. "You want to come to my place after work? It's pretty quiet, if we don't get a case Gibbs might actually release us before it gets dark."

"I'm not liking our chances, Tim. But sure, you're on."

At that moment Ziva returned and both men fell silent, provoking a suspicious glare from Ziva.

"What?" She deposited an almost-healthy looking burger on each of the desks. McGee and Tony wrinkled their noses simultaneously, arousing even more suspicion from the Israeli. "Stop it, both of you!"

McGee couldn't help but chuckle at the cheeky grin Tony threw him before he stepped out from behind his desk, ambling over to Ziva's.

"Problem, Zee-vah?" Tony leered, delighting in Ziva's growing annoyance.

"Yes! The two of you are acting so… strangely! You-" she pointed at Tony. "- have not called him McGeek once today, or thrown any paperclips or apple cores. And you-" the finger swung across to McGee. "You have explained everything in lie-man's terms,"

"Layman's" McGee and Tony corrected automatically.

Ziva ignored them. "Instead of your usual techno-babble."

Tony laughed. "Techno-babble? Now you sound like Gibbs."

Ziva threw up her hands in frustration, grabbed her healthy-burger and stalked off to go kill something. Alone again in the bullpen, Tony frowned at McGee.

"Hmm."

"What?"

"We've been on one date Tim. And that largely consisted of me getting drunk and kissing you, then eating breakfast in my kitchen. And Ziva can already tell. Abby can't keep a secret so I'm thinking, how long's it gonna be before Gibbs finds out. And fires us. Or kills us for breaking rule twelve. Or both."

"Umm… well I guess we're about to find out," McGee said as the elevator doors pinged open and hurricane Gibbs stormed out. Tony jumped back into his chair, typing randomly on the computer. Gibbs stopped in front of Tony's desk.

"You better be working on that report DiNozzo. You're not going anywhere until it's done. Not even the head."

Tony gulped as Gibbs' fixed him with a super-evil glare. "Sure thing boss."

Gibbs just growled at McGee as he sat down at his desk. McGee wondered what put him in such a foul mood. With Gibbs it was anyone's guess. His mood wasn't helped when he bit into the burger on his desk, immediately spitting the mouthful into the bin.

"Phhh… salad." Gibbs grunted, staring at his two underlings.

McGee and Tony's eyes met then they quickly returned to their work. True to his word, Gibbs wouldn't let them leave until the reports were filed. An hour after McGee and Ziva finished, after waging war on spellcheck and cursing the computer for translating his whole document into German, Tony printed the (considerably thin) file, scrawled his signature on the cover page and dropped it on Gibbs' desk. Gibbs didn't look up from the screen, so Tony interpreted it as permission to leave. He jangled his car keys walking through the garage to his car, genuinely surprised to see a figure standing beside it.

"Oh, crap Tim! I totally forgot we came together. God, I'm sorry!"

McGee grinned, waving his hand in dismissal. "Don't be. Abby already offered me a lift. I wanted to wait."

Tony grinned, glancing around to make sure the garage was empty before wrapping his arms around McGee. "I'm glad you did."

They picked up a pizza and headed back to Tony's apartment. They'd both decided it was more comfortable than McGee's, since Tony actually owned a couch. They spent the evening together, drinking beer and watching a movie.

The next day they got a lead on their new case, a dead Marine found in an abandoned warehouse. Gibbs stood up, grabbing his gun.

"DiNozzo! You're with me."

Tony jumped up, grinned at McGee as he slipped his holster on, then followed Gibbs out of the bullpen. The doors to the elevator slid shut and Gibbs jammed down the emergency stop button. Tony gulped.

"You know DiNozzo, I'm surprised you've held out for so long before breaking rule number twelve."

Tony's jaw dropped. "Am I fired?"

Gibbs chuckled. "No. Not yet. Keep it out of the office and don't hurt him."

"Yes boss."

"Or I'll shoot you." Gibbs glared at him briefly, then hit the button again to restart the elevator.

Back in the bullpen, Ziva got up from her desk and began pacing in front of McGee. McGee began to feel nervous.

"Ziva?"

She gave him a Cheshire-cat smile. "I have figured it in."

"You mean figured it out? Figured what out?"

She leaned forward into his desk, not-so-subtly revealing the huge knife hanging from her belt. "I am happy for the two of you. But if you break his heart, not only will Tony be unbearable around here, but you will have to answer to me. And, I suspect, Gibbs. And Abby."

McGee nodded. "I won't."

"Good."

That night, McGee waited for Ziva to speed away in her Mini before walking over to Tony at his car.

"Ziva knows."

"Gibbs knows."

At that moment Ducky passed them on his way to his Morgan. He winked, chuckling heartily, then drove off in the little roadster.

McGee and Tony looked at each other. "Ducky knows."

"Ya know, I'm kind of understanding the reasoning behind rule 12 now," Tony said. McGee did a double-take, alarmed.

"I mean," Tony continued. "Two dates and already the whole team knows about us. Just imagine what it'll be like if we don't work out."

Satisfied that the garage really was empty now, McGee grabbed Tony's head and kissed him, hard.

"I have a solution for that," he said breathlessly.

"Mm?"

"We'll make this work. I'm not gonna give up on us just because of the possibility that it might fail. And I get the feeling that you won't either."

Tony kissed him in agreement.

"Good. Now stop worrying about the future. I'm more worried about now. Like, do you have plans for tonight?"

Tony pretended to think. "Well, I was going to stay in and wash my hair… but if you've got a better offer?"

"I might," McGee answered, leaning in to whisper something in Tony's ear.

Tony laughed, smiling a huge, white smile. "Sounds pretty good to me." He climbed into the driver's seat, revving the engine. "Coming Tim?"

McGee jumped in and they roared off into the night.

**The End.**

_Thanks for reading and special thanks to those who reviewed :)_


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